My Not So Happy Birthday...

I first sat down to write a little thank you on FB to all of those that wished me a Happy Birthday, all 120 some of you, and I just kept writing, so I decided to write a FB note instead, but couldn't figure out how to do that quickly enough for all of the words that were pouring out of my head, so a BLOG it is!
Thank you for all of the birthday wishes! Believe it or not, my actual birthday was not "wonderful, fantastic, glorious", or any combination of the previous (your words, not mine). It was one of  'THOSE' days. Even "adventurous, spontaneous, hot momma chickas" (again, your words not mine) like myself have a bad day every once in awhile and mine just happened to fall on my birthday. But reading your birthday wishes this morning along with a great cup of coffee helps to make yesterday just fade away and disappear like it should!
Looking back, it all started without my morning cup of coffee, you know, the one that starts the day fresh, gives you a boost of energy, but most importantly, keeps your caffeine withdrawal headache at bay? Ahh, sweet glorious coffee.
Anyway. The day started off pretty normally. Baby Mia woke up needing to be nursed, so I did. Josh leaves for work, and Mallory starts yelling from her bedroom, "MAAAAMM-A (long pause) MAAAMM-A?!" I quickly finish nursing the baby, cutting her off short I'm sure, head over to Mallory's room to tell her it is OK to get out of her bed.
Side note: It is unusual for her to stay in her bed ALL night. So we use bribery to make it happen as much as possible and when the bribery really sinks in, she follows the rules to the point. So when we say "stay in your bed all night" and she actually listens, she won't get out of her bed without permission.

 So I go in and she immediately asks for her princess earrings (stick on) and matching princess ring for staying in her bed ALLLLL night. Then the next thing out of her mouth "I want chocolate. Momma can I please have some chocolate?" She asks nicely you see?
To this I reply as any good mother would, "No, you may not have some chocolate. We need to eat breakfast first." This brings about the first temper tantrum of the day. I try to redirect with the princess earrings and matching ring which somewhat works until she says, "Momma, I want a snack"
The word "snack" in our house, usually refers to Goldfish and I have a thing about not feeding my child goldfish for breakfast. I manage to get her to eat some yogurt for breakfast and she seems excited about a half of a banana, but then ends up just rolling it all over the table covering it in last nights dinner crumbs and then tells me she doesn't want her banana. So what do I do...I eat it, of course. Breakfast of champions.

I look at the coffee pot filled with yesterday's leftover coffee which was Tiramisu flavored and think about heating it up rather than making a new pot of coffee. But decide against it, considering that yesterday's Tiramisu coffee was not as delicious as it sounded. In fact, Josh and I both decided we didn't like it. I was sincerely disappointed considering 1) The flavored coffee is a delicacy from the States that we have visitors smuggle into Italy for us and 2). I LOVE Tiramisu. It is one of my all time favorite desserts and it it is on a menu, I get it. Thankfully, we live in Italy and it is on MOST menus.

"Momma, can I watch a movie?" YES, I think. I'll be able to feed Mia some baby food in silence. Silence to me is now accompanied by the VeggieTales theme song and its following catchy tunes. I'll have a moment to wake up and get my bearings about me, so yes, I put a movie on.

I'm not so sure what happened between breakfast and lunch. I'm pretty sure it took me 3 hours to switch out a load of laundry though.

Lunch rolled around and Mallory ate a Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich with apples, which I ever so cleverly decorated the sandwich with. She ate half of the sandwich, all of the apples (no skin of course) and then marched into the living room with the other half of sandwich in her hand high above her head. "Momma, I'm going to eat this in the living room, and hold it up real high so Kota doesn't get it, OK?" Sadly, holding it up over her head only makes the sandwich eye level for Kota. Luckily Kota was passed out on the kitchen floor and didn't notice the sandwich leave the premises and go into the living room. Phew, crisis averted.

20 minutes later: "Momma, I'm hungry."
Did she really eat the other half of her sandwhich or is it sitting on the couch wreaking havoc on my upholstery? No, she really did eat the whole other half. OK. Goldfish it is. A bowl full of goldfish and I've bought myself some more time to wake up. I finish feeding Mia apples for the first time which finally she has learned to swallow baby food as opposed to "zerbert" it all over me. I come into the living room to find Mallory perched on top of the couch with her bowl of goldfish in hand. This perched position is to keep the large dog away from her goldfish you see. She has learned, after Kota has consumed numerous bowls of goldfish just laying around. This of course is always followed by a complete meltdown.....from Mallory.

My eyes wide as saucers, I excitedly instruct her to get off the top of the couch. This she takes as me yelling at her and she throws herself onto the floor in hysterics.
OH. EM. GEE. This is only getting worse.
It is now that I decide that a nap is not optional for her today.
Nap time is a disaster. I put her into bed, give her some books, which I know will only lead to her asking for more books, and her not sleeping, but will buy me some time.
Just as I suspected, She yells from her room, "Momma, I want some more books!" I oblige.
Later: "Momma, I want 2 blankets!" I oblige
Later: "Momma, I'm hungry." I give her a cracker.
Later: "Momma, I want some water." I tell her she has her sippy cup, but she insists on her pink big girl cup. I explain that she can't have a big girl cup in bed because it will spill. "But why?" she says. "Because I said so." Yes, I use that phrase mutiple times a day. How else do you reply? Telling her she can't have the pink cup leads to an overtired 3 year old flailing about in her bed. I leave. The screaming continues.
Kota nudges the door open and eats the cracker she has placed on her rocking chair. More screaming. I get her another cracker.
"Mallory I am not coming back into your room after this. It is nap time, you must close your eyes and get some sleep."  I offer a "Princess Party" as a bribe if she naps. I am exhausted and will offer activities that will only exhaust me more just to get a tiny break. The princess party, I explain to her involves painting her nails and dressing up in her new "Belle" dress. She seems enthralled, turns into a sweet child again, rolls over in her bed like she is ready to snooze, and I take a deep breath. I've done it! She is going to nap! Now I need to lay down.
 I don't usually need a nap, but I can barely keep my eyes open. No sense in making coffee now, it is 2 pm! Mia is sleeping, so I take the opportunity to ignore the laundry, the cleaning and the general mess that is my house after we return from a week long vacation. This nap is for sanity purposes. I lay down on the couch, after I clear it off of course, and close my eyes. I don't know how much time passed, not much I am sure, and Mallory was lifting up the blanket crawling up on the couch to snuggle with me.
"Aww," I think. "A nap with my baby on the couch, how sweet." NOT. SO. MUCH.
Here is what ensued.
In a loud whisper:
"Mommy, I need my froggy, and my blanket too." She goes to her room retrieves the items and back on the couch with me.
"Mommy I have to go poopy"
"Go ahead" I know she can't complete the entire task by herself, but I am wishing that today is the day.
"Mommy, I'm all done" she calls from the bathroom.
I get off of the couch, go into the bathroom.
"Mommy, I have more, but you can stay in the bathroom if you want" Gee. Thanks.
We finish potty time. Back on the couch. She lays down on the other side of the couch by herself.
"Mommy, the PHONE!" The phone is ringing, but I am still hopeful for sleep, so I don't run to get it. I hear Mandi leaving a birthday message. I'll call her back.
Next thing I know. There is a crunch of a cracker over my head followed by crumbs on my eyelids. She had grabbed a pack of crackers off the table and helped herself. At least she saved me that trip.
I close my eyes, praying for sleep.
"Momma, I need help" She has changed her pajamas and her shirt is on backwards. I help. 
Then, I am pummeled by 2 baby dolls.
"Here, Momma. Here are my babies. They need you, they are crying." She is still loudly whispering. I cuddle the babies under my blanket and try to go back to sleep.
"Momma, I got it on the wrong way" She has changed her pajamas again, still the shirt is on backwards. I help and am about to blow my top. 
I hear Mia. She is awake and ready to nurse. All hope is gone.
My phone rings it is my sister. We skype, trying to have a conversation in between me tending to Mallory and commanding....ok...yelling at her to stop jumping on the couch.
My mom calls while I am talking to my sister and leaves a message. I'll call her back. She calls again.

I call her back. We try to have a conversation in between me reprimanding Mallory and a time-out screaming session. She is overtired...and so am I, and a major headache is brewing. I hear Josh say in my mind...'did you drink any water today.' Drinking water is his remedy for anything, but, no, I haven't had anything to drink, not even coffee. I go and chug a glass of water.

It is now 6pm and Josh is calling to tell me he is on his way home. I haven't decided if I want to go out for my birthday or not or have Josh pick up something to make for dinner on his way home. Both are terrible options, because going out, means Mallory will be up late when she has school tomorrow, and I have a headache. Having Josh pick up dinner means it will be that much later until he gets home, and I'm not sure how much longer I can make it. I propose going out to eat by myself.

Now this seems so awful to do on your birthday when you should want to be surrounded by those that you love. But I am really not feeling the love at the moment. I just want to be by myself with a large glass of mommy juice. It sounds so nice and seems like a beautiful moment in my head, them Mallory grabs the phone and wants to talk to Daddy. I think Josh senses my desperation, I hope.

We go out to dinner, I'm craving my favorite. Tagliatelle with lime and shrimp. They've changed the menu and no longer have it. Ugh. Bring me a glass of wine...STAT!
Josh forgets my birthday present in the car. So he goes out to get it. I open it up expecting the only thing I really asked for. A certain brand of perfume that I knew I liked. What he got me, is not the perfume that I liked, but a different perfume. I try to conceal my surprise, because I know he spent a good while sampling perfumes to find one that he liked, and also smelled similar to the one that I want.  Why he didn't get the one I wanted, I'm not sure. He assured me this one was Italian, and I had to laugh because the other one that I wanted was Versace. Versace IS Italian...lol. I explained this to him. Anyway. The perfume smells nice, so all is fine, and I'm thankful for the time he spent to get me something nice. If he would have got me what Mallory wanted to get me, I would have ended up with a cow. So I really am thankful.
We finish dinner and head home. Mallory sings me a rousing rendition of Happy Birthday on the way home, which melts a tiny bit of my headache away. At this point it hurts to make quick movements, and I'm on the verge of being sick because it hurts so bad. I feed Mia and crawl directly into bed at 10pm. This is super early for me, but my headache is still pounding and I know the sooner I go to bed, the sooner I can wake up and make a pot of coffee that I was so desperately in need of on this day.

Today is a much better day, as I am 3 cups deep and feeling much better just from writing down what a shlop my day was yesterday. (shlop is a made-up word)

So thank you for all of the birthday wishes, they started my 'day after birthday' day off on the right foot. I declare today my actual celebration for my birthday. A Re-Do  of sorts.

Have you had your coffee yet? I suggest you do.

Family Photo in Viareggio, Italy