However, there is still this looming sense of paranoia, that after we've read, prayed, and listened to two songs together on her nightly bedtime lullaby routine, that out of the dark a little ninja will appear from out of thin air and whisper 'mommy' and it will scare the crap out of me while I sit watching tv. It happens. Multiple times a night.
Even on the off nights when miraculously she stays in bed after she is put there, I still find myself looking over my shoulder every now and then, just to see if she is standing there waiting for me to notice her.
There are two things I can take away from this situation and what I assume, is a common struggle in any household with small children.
1. My constant frustration with this nightly saga hasn't gone unnoticed.
Sadly, my 4 year old is scared of my reaction when she gets out of her bed. She has recently said, " Mommy I was scared to ask you if you could tuck me back in."
To hear that my child is scared to ask me the simplest of questions about putting her back to bed breaks my heart. What is going to happen when it comes time to ask REAL questions? Boys, drugs, sex, and 'Mom can I have a Facebook account?' Riiiight, like that is ever going to happen! I see an attitude adjustment in my near future.
I have been praying for patience, gentleness, and kindness over this nightly battle. But it seems that frustration, freaking out, and failure win every time. I'll keep praying.
And......2. No matter where my children are, I'll always be looking over my shoulder for them.
As most any mother will tell you, your children are a part of you, another appendage if you will. I leave for a small respite, only to find myself speeding home from a hair appointment, quick shopping trip, or girls night, just to see and kiss their sweet sticky little faces. And the welcome home hug?! It is pure bliss. Now I know how Josh feels when he comes home from work everyday.
It's great to get away, refresh renew, even if for just a few hours, but it's never as great as the welcome home.
Kiss 'em, hug 'em, love 'em.
Until next time,
L
